For best reults - Put this song on - " Sexual Eruption" by Snoop Dogg before starting of with the reading.Get it here: DOWNLOAD

The smoke in the front of his eyes was floating in the air.
The song playing was - Sexual Eruption by snoop dogg.
He half laid on the comfortable couch of the lounge club..The walls were painted black, and the steel raillings and staircase was shining brightly.On the low table in front of him, lay his wonder puff. He put his face down and inhaled it...
"I'm gonna take my time, she gon get hers before II'm gonna take it slow (woah woahh),......................."

Eyes closed....It travelled from the tunnel in his nose to his head..he could feel every millimetre of its movement....till it spread to his whole head....He kept his eyes closed..and slowly opened them...

" Sexual Eruptionnnn...Sexua..."

The smoke in front of him was floating smoothly, the things moved in a motion,...slow....The dj with his headphones on movin his head slowly....,the people moving on the floor slowly.....,
Bartender threw up the vodka bottle in the went up slowly...,and stopped...and it reamined there....just in the mid air.....
Hands moved, Heads moved, Smoke floated, Music played on...The Bottle stayed in the air.....!

"She might be with him but shes thinkin 'bout me me meeeeeeee............................."

He reached for his glass on the table. He moved his hand...and it moved slowly......slowly it moved ahead......Slowly.....Finally it felt the cold glass surface.....He gulped in the liquid in one go....His eyes closed....and opened again slowly....

"We don't go to the mall, we don't go out to eat eat eeeaat...."

The eyes saw a naked moved slowly.....the black silky cloth came over it but went away slowly....Coming down they saw a shining knee....brighter than the steel in the club....The flesh would turn blue, then green and sometimes white.....The eyes moved slowly....

"All that we ever do it play in the sheets sheets sheeeeeetss............."

His head went again for the the head...
"I'm gonna take it slow (woah woahh), .............."

Eyes close...
Eyes open Slowly.....
Smoke didn't float, it was still in the air....
No bodies moved, they stayed still .....
Just one body moved.....
drapped in black silk...
It moved amongst the still world...
Thighs moved....

" Sexual Eruptioooonnn..."

Black white.....
Black white...

"If you don't know by now, Doggy Dogg is a freak freak freeeeaak...."

It moved Slow....Slow...Slow...

"Smoke us a cigarette and go back to sleep sleep sleeeeeep...."

All black!!

"Sexual Eruption (A sexual eruption)
Sexual Eruption (woah, an orgasm)
Sexual Eruption ............."


Up she goes
Down she comes
She is moving hard
She is going slow

His eyes are closed
His fists are clinched
He cries a moan
He gives a groan

Her fingers are rolled
'Sit tight' he is told
Its hard as rod
She tightens her hold

Steady are his hips
She mums her lips
He feels the lick
She goes on quick

His breath is shut
As the volacano erupts
'Love you oh my babe'
'Love you too' she says!


It is a beautiful autumn evening. The street lights have come on, though the sunlight still shines. The time when the light and darkness mate, and it looks just amazing. Traffic whirls past this road. The café is well lit place. At one table they sit. They look like a bunch of friends. All of the guys talking out loud and cracking those jokes. The song which is on sounds like – Lovestoned Remixed by Tiesto.
Two girls enter the café, and choose a corner table. One guy from the group seems detached, kind of bored. It could be well made from his gaze. The gaze- uninterested, directionless gaze….But the gaze suddenly stops!
That girl at the corner table. His gaze stops. Halts at her. The big eyes. Big eyes trying to smile, the big eyes which are just somewhere else. He knew, just knew that those eyes were not there. They were lost somewhere else. He is hypnotized in those wonderful eyes!
Few minutes pass by, and the spell breaks. He looks at the creation of God who has the most beautiful eyes in the world. A loose plain white t-shirt, military green cargos, and white sneakers. She wears just a little mascara in those charming eyes.
He just looks looks and looks. He just wishes silently that she would once look at him.

She holds the huge coffee mug with his both hands. Those hands clutching the mug and brings her close to her lips. But just then, she stops. She closes her eyes and inhales deeply as the aroma of coffee goes in her. And that expression….!
The expression that would make heavens stop. The painter would die to paint down. The poet would do anything to write down. The gods above would look down and smile…!
The expression on her face, A Nymph! Pure joy ,Bliss, Content falling down from that face!

It just leaves him mesmerized!

He so badly wants her too look at him. He hopes and he waits. And at last it comes.
But it comes and goes. As if he never existed.

She just gets up and walks out. He jumps out of his seat and follows her. He wears a light blue linen shirt ,and khakis with neat shoes. His locket moves as he walks fast.
She with her friends get in a rickshaw. He runs behind.
The rickshaw puller peddles up and it starts moving. He runs harder, and jogs with it.
“Excuse me” He calls out.
“You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and I am sure I will never see someone as beautiful as you ever again…..”
He offers a red rose to her, still jogging with the rickshaw.
She gives him a blank stare. No smile, no expression comes on her face. She takes the rose from him and throws it right back on his face.
“Get Lost…..”
She never actually says that but he reads it all clear in her eyes. Those big eyes!

He finds himself on a water logged road. His shoes and khakis are all drenched in dirt. He breathed hard. He looks at the rose lying right on the road. He picks it up and looks at it.
He walks down with a mind that had nothing in it.
He gets into his black SUV, drives it…. And the rose still held in his hand!

What I gonna do?

I have been pondering upon it quite a bit lately. There have been some really thought provoking comments on the post ( What you gonna do).So I start thinking about all the three things mentioned in there. They seem so damn true. When A man is lost, defeated by life , by someone or Himself. There can be plenty of reasons, causes and effects. But the fact is he feels as if he is done with everything. I guess this stage comes after one has been frustrated,Sick and depressed. When he has had enough. The next stage after all this.

I thought about it all on my life. I am in a way living the second choice. Though I don't dope and booze, but I have my addictions and ways of forgetting and running away from the reality. I am totally into hanging out in CCD every single day, and there is tonnes of Caffeine running in my veins.( into red bull tooo but see caffeine it is agian). (Though it has kinda stopped working now).In one way or other I have always found a way so far...!

The first choice- Changing oneself . Well I have done it theoretically many times. all the planning, the change, it effects ( positive positive).. and all. You bet it sounds too ideal ( Kills the funs of life..;). But can't apply it practically. Even if I try it, it doesnt work for long. ( Yes Ppl..I know " Being yourself" theory, but we are dealing with one serious issue here)
And the last choice... well thought on it a lot. But seems like all is not lost yet. Unseen hopes still fly inside.

Either they will make me fly high....or Crash me somewhere..
This remains to be seen!

[Illustration by a talented friend - Navi! You can visit his blog here - On Road to Hell]

UAG - United Artists Guild

UAG - The name of a brand new web magazine. It includes everything about creative art. It portrays works of some fellow artists which range from Photography,Logos,Tutorials,Cartoon strips,Animation,Articles and Graphics. The feature is the tutorial of various graphics and imaging softwares like Adobe photoshop to Maya and many more. It also plans to serve as platform for all artists and creative fellow beings to submit their work, and it will be published in the forthcoming isuues.
The issue of september is available right here for download. I really hope you will like it!

"UAG - Think Create Inspire"

The September issue cover is here:

You can download the Magazine from here:

You can mail the responses at :

What you gonna do?

I was randomly surfing the channels on my television last night. Nothing was on.
VH1 was unclear ( No..My life is not Jhingaalala ! No DTH)..Absurd Movies.... and Channel V and MTV have been sold to bollywood crap.
I suddenly came to channel with a preacher on it. I just thought to listen to him for few seconds. But what he was saying had me totally gripped. Here is what he said...

"A man when defeated,and torn by this world ,by people or his own mind goes for either of these three things...
1.He tries to change himself.
2.He tries to forget himself with drugs and Drinks.
3.He ends his life.
The entire history of mankind says it. There have been great men who have ended their lives..who have drowned themselves in dark world of drugs...."


The channel goes blank ( My Cable guy...Thank you so much..I need to make my life Jhingalala...Mr.Ratan Tata I am coming for your product)..

But still this was one Powerful, Deep and True thing he said. Worth pondering upon for sometime!
I did.
You may want to do too.
Say what?

Only That.....

He had been happy once.
He had Smiled and He had laughed.
He had felt the pure joys of life.
He had felt the love.
He had been given the love and affection.
He had given it to others.
For he had been away from these maddening crowds.

He had been hurt at times.
He had felt sorrow.
He had felt sadness.
He had been annoyed.
He had been angry.
But it was just 'at times.'
For he has just entered into this maddening crowd.

He was hurt again..and again.
He ran.
He got tired.
He was hurt.....
He was forced and pushed....
For he was a part of the maddening crowd now...

It hurt so much for the first time.
For he resisted and fought back.
All in vain.
He screamed..and yelled....
He threw swears....
He called for the help...
He cried and prayed to the God...
For he was sure HE would help back...
He called and called...

The pain had become unbearable....
Suddenly it stopped.
He wont scream.
He wont yell.

Yes..He was RAPED!!

And after that pain got less..
Lesser and Lesser every time...
And finally ...
it did not matter...
Nothing at all....
For it was all like a Whore now...

Only that he wasnt PAID...
Only that...

Only that it was a Mind...
For he would have better been a Whore..!

On Crack....

He is smiling to himself. A passerby would look at him and give a strange expression. Another passer by looks at him and smiles, for he sees the cellphone in his hand.
He was reading his Sms Inbox

He stood in front of a hospital building. He had just got in touch with an old friend he was very close to once. He was texting her and was very delighted. She had become a doctor now. He knew she was very intelligent.

Long time has gone by but she had not replied back. He wonders why. She must be busy.
Then He texted her again, and waited.....
He just happens to look at the hospital building in front of him. And for a moment his gaze seizes at a point....He just saw a familiar outline...
His look has if he is wearing the UV goggles. He could see Xray images from the walls. It was her...yes he could well make it out from her outline...
He sees the figure looking at something in her hand...and then she shakes her head and then motion of her hand shows she throwing that thing.

Now he understood it all. Why she didn't reply.

Anyways he thinks..and once again he looks at the same building. A part of it suddenly breaks down. It is some floor which was falling apart.
Suddenly dead bodies packed in white sheets starts to fall down..
One by one...
So many...They grew in number....It was like a water fall...
So many dead bodies ..all wrapped up in white...He thinks of making a video..but decides to run away.

He bumps into a lady who asks for his help. He agrees. She took him to a park. It is full of the dead bodies. She starts opening the covers and asks him to do so. The park is full of them.

He suddenly turns around. The dead bodies had disappeared and only few are left.
She tells him to hurry up before they cleaned up the bodies from the town.
A few were left. All in white sheets. Wrapped up neatly.
All looked same.
Same white sheets....!

He wakes up suddenly. His eyes open up swiftly.
He checks his cell phone besides his pillow.
No Messages....!
He tries to get up. He is freezing. The AC...He forgot to switch it off.
As he tries to move..That's when he sees... He is wrapped in a White Sheet...!

Pen, Mind and You!

The Blogosphere is a beautiful place. Many of us spend a very considerable part of our lives in here. We express, We speak, We talk, We draw,We capture, We show, We seek, We help, We get helped and sometimes just stay silent.We like people and they like us. We get connected with others and make friends in a special way.
Here many of us feel understood, when you never thought you could be.

"The pen is the tongue of the mind."
-Miguel de Cervantes

Writing is an invaluable gift God has given to the humankind. And Blogging is like a big add on. I have been here for a while now. I have read you and you have read my pages. Some from a longer tome, some for short. But all of you feel and think something after reading a post. We all do!

The writing tends to say certain things about the writer. Some sound oblivious ,some are seen at times, some are felt..........! The penned pieces of an individual can tell such things.
There goes my question to You all :

What does my writings say about me?

PS : -
("It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them."
-Isabel Colegate
Well I am right now:)...)

The Kool Cafe....

Location : A very famous dhaba on Delhi Highway where My bus halts.
Time: 2:43 Am
Situation: Conductor says bus shall move in 10 minutes.Hurry on!

We skip the idea of food, and rather grab some snacks......

My body reckons my mind - 'You haven't had it in last 24 hours. You need your dose. Its important.Do something.'
My eyes gaze all around, searching the counters, Shelves and refrigerators. This place always had those Nescafe cans. They will calm you down.
'No..No! I can't see them anywhere.'
Helplessly, I ask the Uncleji at the counter for the Coffee can.
He puts down a can in front of me.
What the hell is this? I ask myself.
'Shut up' it says. Something is better than nothing. Take it or you will have them again- the headaches.'

Can reads 'AMUL KOOL CAFE' ( What in the holy hell is this?)
Anyways, back in the bus. Can opened. A weird smell enters my nostrils. It is a shit smell.
'Drink it..Just sip on'.

- I bring the can to my lips and take a sip with my eyes closed.
'Aahhhhhhhhhhh..." I scream.
What the fuck is this thing? It tastes like.....
It tastes like Tonnes of amul butter thrown in Creamy milk with some coffee essence..!

In my whole life I have never tasted anything horrible than this,let alone a coffee.
They so cold " Cold Coffees" made by aunties at home with heaps of sugar and little coffee powder are way better than this.

- My hand wobbles and coffee( or whatever it was) spilled on my cousins handkerchief.

Can thrown out.
A can of chilled coke sipped in to get off the dreadful taste of kool Cafe.
Hanky washed and put in bag.......

Time:10:43 Am
Place: Hotel Room , Delhi.

We both wake up as if seen a nightmare in sleep.
" Whats that smell dude?"
" Yeah ! Holy shit..It woke me up from sleep.It is horrible."
" I know..lets find out wheres it coming from or we will die off this."

Search is On. Found the Hanky.
It brings back the haunting memories of " Kool Cafe."
Lighter taken - Handkerchief burnt to ashes...
Prayers Said.
May God forbid Mankind from the Kool Cafe.....


PS: All you Ccd,barista, Mocha, Costa fans who swear on Frappes,Iced cappucinnos etc.. I challenge you to drink this. Yes Challenge!

Run Run Run

He wanted to Grow up - He started Running!
He was followed...
He wanted to chase dreams - He started Running!
He was followed....
He Screwed up - He started Running!
He was Followed...
He got Sad - He started Running!
He was followed...
He was Running...Running and Running!
He wasn't Followed.....

He walked the street...
He was followed - The Shadow
He started Running!
He was followed....
He stopped and broke the street Lamp...
He was Alone!
Welcome - called out darkness...
Now its just You....
He started Running.......

Man and Manali

A nice and small open air cafe. Some exotic music plays in the background. The lyrics are kind of hindi.A distinct sound of tabla along with guitar leads.One corner has an Israeli couple sitting. An oriental group and an english man sipping
his herbal tea.Sound of gushing water of the river. Adding to this mesmerising sound is a faint sound , the whisper of a mild blowing breeze.A bunch of tables under a little shelter , and few others in open.
A small lane passing by. Few shops. Colorful clothes displayed everywhere. Some local and ethnic handicraft shops.Cafes with Goa trance theme,German and Israeli food. A wonderful sight to look at.

The most amazing thing about this place is indeed the drastic change in culture and atmosphere. It is almost that the flowing water of the river Beas signifies a borderline. You cross a small bridge to enter a new place - Old Manali!
There is no rush of maddening crowds. There are no loud and flashy sights and sounds. Just an up going curvy lane. Aft re every few minutes an enfield
would pass you by with its shuddering uproar sound,ridden by a tourist.

There are wooden houses and cottages where natives live. Many of them offer their homes as paying guests to foreign tourists,as many of them choose to stay here for months altogether.There are so many things that attract them here. Beautiful mountains,enigmatic views. Its just like a special gift of mother nature
to humans. A place away from busy crowds and routines. Simple people and simple Living!

Coming back to the difference between places. The local tourist - the Manali , The mall road. The scene is no different from a typical Indian town.
Same food to eat ,stalls to shops - families with kids. The kids - crying ,running and creating chaos. Newly wed couples with arms in deadlocks.
Frustrated men waiting for the sun to set , so that they can booze again. Women shopping,bargaining and talking!

The road to old manali - the road has protected area with tall pine trees to its one side. The road represents gradual change - the fading of cultures or a mix up on both. Slowly, A walk of few minutes and here comes the might Beas - the river. And the bridge.
The dividing waters, and its sound!
A kind of quietness starts to settle in. As if someone had tuned the sound level on the jog dial. You can feel the change.

I sit in another cafe now. It gives a nice view of the river. There is a light music playing. But the sound of the watery is louder- more prominent.
My one ear faces in direction of the river,other to the speaker. A sound of nature , and a sound of music created by man.
I close my eyes, and let the both sounds fill my ears.
Yes, the sounds match! There is a resonance. Chords striking together!

For I have read and been told that nature is inspiration for every creative work. I had never realized or experienced it for music,for one.
But I do now. And it feels like - almost unexplainable!
Its like moments when brain has no role to play for you. Its your heart, the senses. There is no decision or judgement to be made -All is to be felt!
It is a satisfaction, a joy bubbling inside you - for you realize the venture of Nature and Man!
For You wonder how large, how amazing and how beautiful the nature is. It gives us everything, and yet there remains so many tings unexplored.

No words can explain or praise the nature; it is beyond our limits - Way Beyond...!

( This pic in display shows the Beas River and the Bridge in backdrop if you see..Mor pics from manali on Flickr)

I am almost there.......

9:00 AM
He: Hello.....
She: Hey its me..wanna catch movie at 1?
He: Sure,that is a great idea.
She: Cool. Meet me at barista at 11:30 then,we can hang around n go for movie.
He: Thats a plan..see u then!

11:30 AM
She: Where r u man?
He: (Still in bed) Just left ..will be there in 10.

12:00 PM
She: this is really...
He: (getting dressed)Hey I gat stuck..will be there in 5...just 5 mins...

12:30 PM
She: You bett....
He: See I am here ..right in front in parking ( He hasn't left yet from home)

12:50 PM
He:(Makes it finally) Lets s gonna start....

--6 Months Later---
1 PM
She: Hey I was wondering if we could go out for lunch today.
He: That would be lovely girl..Lemme pick you up at 2 then!

2 PM
He is in a Friends Party
She: Listen I dont think you are going to come..
He: What? Why wouldn't I? I am on my way....hold on ..see u in 10...

He makes it finally!
He: I am damn hungry ...Lets go to your favorite place to eat today
She: Whatever...

--1 Year Later--
11:00 AM
She: hey what up...Movie at 3?
He: Yeah baby.. I was gonna call you and ask you the same thing.
She: Great I will get the tickets then. See you at 2:30!

She checks her purse and pulls out two tickets which reads..

Screen 1
6:00 PM

She puts them back....smiles and goes off too sleep.

Normal with an AB.....

I was just wondering that at times...Let me be frank here, Many times I mean I do tend to do things which are kind of not normal. But then again I started thinking that everything in this world is relative. Only if I do things that I think are not normal doesnt mean that I am crazy, or the fact that they are not normal.
So I decided to ask you all a few questions and then see about it.

Here are a few questions. Please answer them If u consider them sane.

1. Just to get a feel of the movies like 300 or Sincity (I mean the screen they are shot on...the gloomy feeling it gives), you wear sunglasses and ride you bike at 120 kmph at Night?

2. How Long have you chewed a single chewing gum?

3. How long have you sat in CCD/Barista/Any cafe doing and saying Nothing at all?

4. Travelled 600 kms in a day, everyday of your final exam ie 6?

5. Saw a C grade movie by booking the tickets on phone and asking them If its housefull (and you are all alone in the hall)?

6. Rode your bike before your gal has sat on it ?( I mean she is putting her leg ...its still in air and u move the bike..)

7. You turn on the key on your lock while you are putting it on your gate and when you leave the lock from your hand it falls down.....

That will be it. Its already got too much I guess.

So let us see where I stand..Normal....Ab - Normal.....Sub-Ab Normal.......

Him and Her

Phase One
His eyes are randomly surveying the crowd hanging around. Usual boring stuff,nothing special. As he is about to take his gaze back and shake his head disapprovingly, he checks himself.
Did he catch something....He turns around his gaze again. There is she - This girl. She is really beautiful ,and there is something about her that makes his eyes stick on her face. He starts looking at her everyday for next coming days. But she shows an utter disinterest. She would look away and leave the place he is around. He tries it for few more days but in vain. So he gets upset and irritated,and at the end stops taking interest in her!

Phase Two
He is sitting at his usual place. He feels a familiar feel of eyes staring deep into his eyes from a distance. He comes out of his numb state of mind to look whats bothering him. Thats the same girl looking at him. He ignores her completely.
Next day, same thing happens. There is no smile, there is no feel or invitation in her eyes - Just a blank look, the same he used to give her. Sometimes the yes would lock up, but then again he would remember the old days and ignores her constantly.

Phase Three
He is once again hanging out with his friends. She too happens to pass him by from distance at times.
He would look at her thinking what to do.
She would look at him thinkin what kind of guy he is.

And then both of thm look away and go on with their lives!

Any idea, Any guesses about the Fourth Phase.....?

How you wanna die?

Headbangin to : Du...Du Hast...Du Hast Mich ( You...You Hate...You Hate Me) by Rammstein.

Sipping: Redbull (yeah it gives me wings;) )

I have this thought so many times. What If I suddenly decide to die. How am I gonna do it.
Well I have already decided on it sometime ago.I made this decision when I was riding the bike on mountains. Those lovely curves, a nice road and beautiful scenary.
Sometimes the clouds would appear in the way. On your one side is the mountain and on the other the valley. A deep valley...All you can see is greenary. Or if you look a bit away, A flowing river or some little farm and few huts. The scenes is certainly mesmerising. The cool breeze which touches your face. I mean it is enigmatic.

And you are controlling this bike of yours. Speeding through the curves. I love the blind curves, I sometimes increase my accelaration while handling a bling curve to feel the thrill.
And how I wish I wish I wouldnt turn my handle...and just let the bike go staright and fly away....Fly on my bike ... I mean I have imagined that moment so many times..The moment the front tyre would go off the road...and then the whole bike...Into the air.....I am going to love it.

I wish I would do it someday. Last time I felt like doing it, the friend sitting behind went crazy when I told him what I was thinking...
It would be awesome..My connection with the Air...The Sky ...The Valley...and yeah I know the Death..But it would be God damned worth it .....whole of it..!

Sipping....Red bulls last sip....You.. You Hate.. You Hate Me.......

P.S: Whenever I read this sign board on road - "Speed thrills but Kills" I just feel like adding a line to it..


Linkin Park is Back!

Well wait for almost four years is over , and LinKin Park are back with their new album. This one is called - MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT.
As for the name of the album ,it has a reference to the doomsday clock,which is set for the nuclear destruction of the world. It was set at seven minutes to the midnight at the cold war time,and presently stands at Five minutes to midnight.
Its scheduled to hit the stores on 14th may worldwide. I am still checking the tracks I have got my hands on (thanx to the pirate and p2p brotherhood). As mentioned by Mike Shinoda, there is a definitive change in their whole style..its just not exactly the NU or Rap/rock thing anymore.
This single called " What I've Done" is already out and so is its video. Its so soothing and so awesome to hear the Chester's lovely voice again...He has one great voice for sure...( Remember "My december"..or last verses of "In the End")
They are one of my personal favorites and even if I have got almost all the songs ...I am really looking forward to 14th to go and grab the copy of " Minutes to Midnight"!
I leave you with few lines from the new single - What I've Done! (I am gonna put this one in "My songs" section If you want to listen)

In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi.
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.

So let mercy come,
And wash away…

What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done!


Sohni Kudi

I am standing outside Ccd, just enjoying the cool breeze and making my mind to go inside again or not. A very tragic dilemna as there is no other place to hang out here.There is suddenly this voice behind me.
"Bhaiya bahut bhuukh lagi hai...bhagwan ke naaa....."
I see a small child beggar and ignore him. He keeps crying and saying all those things they say. So I finally put my hand into my pocket to find out any change or coins. And I find one five rupee coin. As my hand is coming out of my pocket, the beggar says,
" Waheguru kare tujhe Sohni Kudi Sohni Mem Mile!"

Now something strikes me hard ( For all you saas bahu fans , imagine that repeated sound - dhiiidhiiiii dhiidhiiii and camera on face repeatedly) . I don't understand why,but my hand just freezes and I drop the coin back into the pocket.
I tell him to go away,and I get into the cafe. I sit in a corner and order my Iced- caramel.
My mind goes back few years back ( yeah Flashback..)....
I am standing outside a theatre with my beautiful chic. I am quite happy and having fun. I really like this chic and she was really cool. I was kinda elated to be with her for that day. We are talking and there is voice from the back.
" Bhaiya kuch de do..Bahut bhookh lagi hain..."
My hand goes into my pocket searching for some odd coin....

"Bhagwan tumari pyaari Jodi hamesha ke liye banaye
rakhe,Kitna sundar joda hain..!"

We both are surprised , and it kinda felt good to hear that..(who wouldnt want to be with a hot chic for a long time, if not forever).
I stop fumbling with coins and take out a 20 rupee crisp note and give to that beggar.

Back to Ccd....My coffee isnt good as it is usually. Well,without going into the details - The girl was with me for the whole day, but that was the LAST time we were together! Nothing went wrong that day,but somehow we were never able to get together again and the whole relation gradually faded away over time.

I have just one request to make to All India Beggar's Association
- Please do not say anything about the "Sohni Kudi", "Jodi bani rahe" etc ,or anything to that effect to guys like me...

Thank you...I will happily pay you if you just ask me simply to give
you something!!!

The Real Decision!

There are so many times in our lives that we have to make decisions.
They range from some big ones regarding your life to small everyday
decisions.Most of these decisions we make are based on a lot of

They may be dependent on the situation you are facing - A circumstantial decision that is.
Then come the ones you make under influences of friends and family. Its a
result of their suggestions,feed backs and advices,and hence your
decision is taken.
There is one which is taken because it looks like the best one, best according to the society,more of a 'Right thing to do'!
And then comes the the real decision - Your own decision!
This is a decision which comes right from the heart. A call of the mind, may
be an intuition. Something you know is right and will get you or
make you the real you,you want
to be!

Frankly speaking,we all feel uncomfortable accepting this kind of
classification of decisions. We
always tend to tell ourselves that it was our own real decision. And we
all are very well know they all aren't.

The last kind of the decisions are the most difficult to make. There are so
many problems and obstacles you can foresee if you ever take it. It may
be the social acceptability,Peer pressure, fear of failure and even
fear of the hard work!

But you see,one day you will ultimately
have to make that one real decision
. We keep on making the
'fake' decisions and in that way keep coming to end point where once
again we need to make that our own decision. We ignore it, We just keep

This is the phase which I am passing through presently.
I want to make that real decision now.....and live my live with utmost
It feels so good when you take those decisions,how
silly and troublesome they may seem before. But the result is always
that satisfaction , that feeling of completeness. Its not that ,it will bring you instant success or anything like that always.

But that feeling, I tell you is worth it!

So have felt that feeling lately?
Have you made a Real, your Own decision ?

Its not just Cricket!

As I see India's pathetic and shameful performance in this world cup ( Sorry You Hard core fanatics Bermuda didn't beat Bangladesh) , it rings a familiar bell in my mind.

It was back in my 11th class,when I was taking coaching for my entrance exams( please this is a serious post,I would refrain myself from sarcasm),and once our physics teacher said this to whole class ,"You see, this is not just a problem of you not studying and performing well,It is much more deep rooted than that. As I see your faces, I see no one of wants to really study hard and prove something. You all come from good families,you get all the facilities one child can get. And this is the problem. It has spoiled your attitude towards life. You have got every
possible thing in you life,you parents had made sure that you get what you want.And Hence,you have this " No worries,Chalta hain" attitude in you. Beacause you feel safe, you feel nothing can go real bad! You know dep inside that soon you will be forgiven, you parents love you so much. They will do something for you again. Chalta hain yaar! Tension nahi!"

These words did make a real hard impact on me ,and they seem relevant to almost everywhere. Look around us ,We indians do have this "chalta hain" attitude engraved in us. Not all,pardon me but yes majority of us.

And this reflects clearly from our Cricket team. They all have made nice money. They know it is not that big deal. It will soon go away. A couple of good personal performances and they will be heroes again!

You see its not just cricket. Students,Politicians, professors,Policy Makers,Men ,Women ,Children....... its everywhere!

"Kya yaar,fir kya hua...Chalta hain! "

I guess it has become a reality..Isnt it?

Its All Same Again!

This new realization has just hit me. When these kind of things hit you, you just can't help wondering that there
were there all the time, but how in the hell you didn't see it earlier.
Now that I have realized this realization I feel very well, its kind of
unexplainable feeling actually.

Its that you find yourself at a
crux in life where you had been before. Same point ,Same feeling its
just that the time and the scenario has changed itself . 4 years of your
life have passed and you are at the same point once again. Once again
the Life has put a big question mark in front of you.
You have to make
one big decision on which your entire life may depend. You feel the Deja-vu.....yes same feel,everything is same.
You thought you have changed, you have grown and you are now a much learned man.
But the truth is - you are still the same. Sometimes you push yourself to work hard, then things like Luck,fate and destiny would come in your mind. You are so very sure about yourself and your life at one point and next, you are all down and confused....
Is it what you call a Vicious Circle..?

realize that may be you do not have a clear goal, a clear vision but
still you are moving on with life. Why? Because you have no choice but
to move on....

If you want a better feeling of what I am trying to say ,just listen to this song. Its called - SHAYAD by THE CALL!

Kal ki In Bato mein Kya rakha hain
Socho to kuch bhi nahi
Sabh khalla hain
Aj bhi kuch badlaa nahii
Kal jahan tha
Wahin hun abhi

ShayAd yahiiiii...Kismat mein Likha
Manjil Nahi..Fir bhi main Chal raha.....

In sab saaawalo mein Kya rakha hain?
Kyun main Kuch sochUn Jab
Sab Fanna Hain
Aj fir usi mod pe hun Khadaaa
Kis GUnaaah ki Seh raha hun Saaajaa

ShayAd yahiiiii...Kismat mein Likha
Manjil Nahi..Fir bhi main Chal raha...

Crawling In The Dark..

I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing

Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer

Help me carry on
Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?

So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go?
How much longer until I finally know?
Because I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me

In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer

This is one beautiful song by Hoobastank. I just listened to this song after I dont know how long. And As I started listening to it, I realized that how much I can relate to it now. It almost explains everything.....

Sometimes you don't exactly understand a song or piece of art,until you are experiencing it in our own life. And suddenly to feel as if that piece has been made for you...

Awesome...thats all I can say!


The Image DNA.....

Competition here too....!

Everyday all of us here of this word. Competition - it has started to creep in like a bug in our lives. There is competition in studies,in sports,in proffesions...its everywhere. I would see this and get sick.
Then suddenly one day I realize that I hardly have anything to do whole day,and that I was almost free all through. Thinking about my routine I said to myself that I gotta be the man who has nothing worth while to do for entire day.
And I almost believed that this would be something I won't have any competition in. I wake up late,there are no lectures to attend,My college is fucked up place and there are no hang out places in here. I sit,eat,go online or some other place and thats about it.

But alas! I was so damn wrong. I stand no where in this field either just like any. There is whole world of "free" people. They are so many levels ahead of me.

I looked at myself and said I wake up late,but look at this guy,he wont even wake up.....
I have a college to name atleast,this dude right there haven't seen any....
I go to this cafe for 2 hours...these bunch of people are here before me and leave after I do....
So many fuckin things.......

God...this world is coming to an end,There ain't a field left where you don't have to work hard and sweat it being " free" whole day.......!

Love this Song!

I saw this Song's Video on television few days back. This one is a punjabi song. I downloaded and since then I am hooked to it. This one is called - Teriyaan Adavaan feat Apache Indian by Preet Harpal.

The Music is so cool. I like the lyrics and the voice of Preet is great too. Its been mixed pretty well and Apache Indian adds the flavour as ever!

" Ena Akhiyaan ch paya na kar surma,
Manka de nal chhad turna,
Teriyaan Adavaan Munde dange,
Haye ni Mannoniye,
Haye ni pathonie,
Haye ni sun soniye....."

Its awesome!

I am putting a link to the song here (Many friends couldn't download it): Its on left side under the heading - " My Songs"...

You can just listen to it by clickin the icon!

Happy listening . I hope You will like it!