Life Sucks - It always does!

It was well beyond midnight, or that was what he thought. Time had lost relevance for him. It was day and it was night. There was sun and there was no sun. He sat in the comfortable black couch. His favorite place to sit. It just gave him the perfect view.

"Who said nothing is perfect in this world" - he would think to himself.

This place had a red and blue light theme. And it looked so damn good. There was this big tank on one corner of the place. The DJ cabin was right on top of it. He was in love with the idea. It seemed as though DJ controlled the tank. The music was always great - just the right thing to resonate with your mind. The crowd was always neat and classy. Dress code was only black and white, and all stuck to it. Women with splendid figures and designer clothes. Everything was so perfect. He thanked God for perfection of the place.

"Life always sucks - yes it does" He thought about his life - No friends to hang out with, no place called home,no partner....
Yes it did suck always....The difference was the degree of the intensity. Now that varied from time to time - he agreed on that. At time, your life would suck so much that you would want to end the entire thing.

" If there wasn't the life itself - how would it suck.' What a thought!

But then at times life would not suck that much. It would suck only a bit. Does that mean there was happiness and the entire thing was perfect...

Life cannot be perfect...It always sucks!

But this place was perfect. The music was perfect. The lights was perfect. The drinks were perfect. The women were perfect. The whole set up was so damn perfect.

This is also the part of his life. So what did that mean? His life did not suck?
Now, that cannot be true. Life always sucks.

This was confusing ,very confusing, very contradictory. His head was spinning in the confusion.

His eyes went to the table. He grabbed his glass and sipped in....

Life Sucks...It always does..

Yes it dies!

"Is that Hugo Boss you are wearing and smelling of?"

He looked up and saw the hottest woman he had ever seen till day in his life come sit next to him...!

"No baby! Smell is right, the other thing is Cavalli!"

He glanced at his limted edition cell phone and key of his new black babe parked outside on the table.He took out his wallet and looked at the heap of green and glittering cards in it

No - it doesn't..!

It doesn't as long as you have the money!

Original Shot on Flickr by stuempflphotography


Ladies & Gents (Please click PLAY Below for Best Read & Feel)

Showcasing the NEW CREATIVE for the Blog - STANDBY MODE.

Art Direction & Concept by - Akshay Bhoan.

An exceptional creative piece is always which says it all. It is beyond words. You may use all the words you know - but you will never be able to succeed.It is something you can think of in brain but can not express it. A great artist understand those pictures and the image in your mind, and puts it across - when you though it was impossible!

This is exactly where a piece of creative idea and art would come!

Credits - Akshay Bhoan
His Work -
Aky's Inspiration Shot for the Creative:

The Deep Red Stairs
Originally uploaded by Aky Cookie

Best Felt & Read with this track:

The Give Away Moment

What makes a good photograph? Or let’s say what makes a good photographer? I like a good photograph for a very important reason. For that matter a good photograph over real life and living beings.
Why? , you may ask.

A good photographer will catch a person in an unguarded moment. We all see the fake people with fake expressions in most of the pictures. The wide smiles, the pretended happy face or any pose for that matter. Not that they may not be genuinely happy that moment. But a good photo captures something in that human being which is almost impossible to catch by a normal eye – for it may last only for a fraction of second. Many of the human beings are very good at being on guard all the time. In public usually – they are always careful – in the way they act, they speak, they talk – everything. But yet there is always that moment – an unguarded split second when the photographer clicks and does the trick.

What can that moment be? Well for matter of fact it can be anything. A person who acts very kind hearted, humble and soft, a click- and capture that ruthless and cruel look in his eye which will reveal his darker side. A side - which will scare you and make you feel that this is different person altogether. Or a group of very close knitted nice friends. All of them sitting and chatting over a dinner. A clever photographer will click one of them staring at other with lust and greed in his eyes. No one would have ever suspected or even imagined that person with such feelings and emotions towards that other person. A moment – a split second – when he gives it away …and there is the click!

That’s why I always believe a good photograph can help you find out a personality than any other thing in this world. But you need a good photograph for that. And for that good photograph, you need that genius of a photographer… who clicks at that give away moment!


I have seen this happening to many of the blogger pals over the years. Many of them had given up writing - just because they could not do it anymore and some because lack of time. Few of them had just disappeared into the thin air. Most of these were class blogger - who had written some of the very though provoking and powerful pieces on their blog.

I must admit that I am in a fix too. I have been very irregular from the last two years. I have tried at times. From a long time - I have been trying hard. But it is not working. There is no inspiration from anywhere. The mind does not function in that way. Its become very static. No highs,No Lows and no drastic changes.

I know this thing never comes by trying. It just happens. Suddenly the story would come in front of your eyes - your mind would know all the details. Just few minutes and the entire piece would be written down! But it isn't happening no more!!

But I do not want to give up and shut it down. Many of you have been my good blog pals. You have been reading from a long time. And all the others - I am sure at least some of you would have come across this stage in your life also. I know that this is the time that I turn to you all for help.

I need help. I need suggestions. I need advise!

Sex Smoke Satisfaction

Almost everyone's life is fucked up. Although the degree of the fuck ups varies from person to person,point of view to point of view..but it surely is.
The debts keep coming and going, the money always creates problem - be it too less or too much - It is one helluva problem creator. The relationships, ahaan! Now who has all the relationships without the share of screwups.Parents,Spouse,girlfriend,boyfriend,partners - you name it and there is that thing which takes you the tension world. Work - The life at work. Deadlines,meetings,boss,team,deals and what note. They counting goes on and on.
All in all - We all are fucked up from all sides. Brain is a wonderful thing. It sure it. The poor thing takes up all the fucks from all the sides!

Then there is other side to the darkness. Between all this there are certain things. The great love making - the orgasm! Those minutes of good and intense love making. They are like trip to heaven. Then there is smoke. A good smoke after a good sex! What would you call that........?

"Orgasm in Heaven"

Well that is good way to describe that. These are get aways or the escape as they call it. They are short ,but they are good. Mind is such a wonderful thing. Isn't it?
You forget about all the fuckups in your life. Short as they may be - they seem to exist for an eternity at that exact time.

Satisfaction is not necessarily a permanent state of mind. Come to think of it,it seldom is. It is temporary,its short usually,but till the time it stays in - It surely gives a feeling of being Complete.

You would agree with me on that..Wouldn't you?

After all mind is such a wonderful thing......!

Thrill Speed Inspiration...

"Do you think Money is everything in life?" He snapped while negotiating a sharp turn. The speedometer was hovering above 130 Kmph. Too fast for Indian city roads. His friend sat next next to him, unaffected by the speed or the turn made by his buddy.

" Yes! It is ,unless you have earned millions and millions already...!" He said.

"Good Point! Anyways I am bored. I do not know what to do. There is no charm in life. No fuckin inspirations. No push No pull....Its turning out pretty sad."

His pal lit his cigarette and started smoking.He turned down the windows and cool air moved in.
"Pull down at that store man."

He gets down and brings back couple of chilled redbull cans and some fag for himself.
"Lemme drive my depressed buddy..." And takes the driving seat.

"But man look at my life...Everything has become a shit code or a program. A fukin robotic life ..No bloody freshness...What should I do....?"

The foot was on at the gas and the speed was touching 180 now...He snapped the button while driving and sunroof opened up. They driving by the sea and it was a beautiful scene outside.

"Go asshole,move you ass up!" He snapped.

He moved his head out of the roof. For one second he though his head would snap off his neck and fly away. The force of wind was so strong that he had hard time fighting it. He could not breathe. His air flew madly in air. The skin on his cheeks seemed as though it would get ripped off. And he closed his eyes. It felt so damn good.

" This is fuckin better than the Orgasm"

He thought to himself...!

"Get back man..." He pulled him back. He laid back on his seat with eyes closed.

The car stopped. " We are home Sir.."

" Man I fuckin know what I want to do in life. I feel so full of life. I feel so fresh. I feel inspired. I have never felt so good in my life" He blabbered on and on!

He picked up his laptop and started writing a post for his long forgotten blog...smiling and sipping his redbull.

His buddy looked at his enthusiastic and hyperactive friend tapping his fingers on his laptop - and shook his head...

"Arsehole..." He mumbled under his breath and went to bed!

Smoke it Away.....

Puff it in,
Close your eyes,
There is no truth,
There are no lies

When it goes in
When I blow it away
There is no night
There is no day!

I will not try hard

I always used to try too hard
I was always up on my guard
I kept for last my best card
I always felt short by one yard...

They said cover it yard by yard
Keep for the last your best card
Always stay up on your guard
Son! You always gotta try Hard...

Why was I denied the last yard
Why wasn't it best, My last card
When I did fall off my guard
No! - Now I will not try Hard...!

I will not try hard...
I will not try hard....

Writer's Block or Life's Block?

Life becomes a routine and that, is the most unfortunate thing that can happen to you. The spark, the spontaneity, the jazz, it all just starts fading away. The worse thing is you start accepting it. Now that is not just worse – It is “the worst” thing that can happen to a human life.

There was a time when you would look at such persons - whose life has become just a boring routine, and they have accepted it - and you would think to yourself (not just to yourself but think it loud with a bang!!):
What kind of people are these??
How can they live such a dull, monotonous life??
And how in the hell can they accept it all and just don't do anything about it??

Then as the time passes by, the dreadful though just hits you right into your face. Not that it just happens overnight, but the damn realization happens like that. That moment - (What would be the opposite of the: “Eureka Moment”. Poor vocabulary just makes a limped writer, ain’t it??) just bangs your head like a hammer. Not hammer exactly; you have that “big huge iron ball” hanging from chain on big crushers and bulldozers. Yeah! thats precisely what happens to you. You got to imagine this right away in your minds!!

“You are a ‘cartoon guy’: A disfigured, loser type of a cartoon character. Your face is expressionless and dumb. You are standing on a street - alone surrounded by big sky scrapers. And you hear a small sound from the back side (Pee Pee...Watch out Loser!!) and as you turn around, you see this big iron ball flying your way...
And WHAM!!.....before you even realize what is happening, the thing has hit you...!"

All said and shown, the point is, as life goes on there comes a stage when things start settling down.(Settling down for an old guy's perspective / Fucking Dull from a young ones). May be yes, it comes off with the age. As you hit the quarter century age bracket the "settling down" factor comes in. And it starts growing slowly over years. You don't like random pub hopping, you don't really wanna risk it out, "Lets do it” kind of attitude starts disappearing.

You always thought of it as a Writer's block , but suddenly when the iron ball hitting you - The realization day and The “Moment of Enlightment” occurs and you think of bigger picture !!
The Life Block?

Is it?

Pushkar - Got Published in JAM!

.:: JAM : Etcetera Article: Pushkar

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Happiest Person

Thinking about that evening still made him smile, not smile but something between smile and laugh...

In those days the girl next door used to like him or had a sort of crush on him. She had passed on a message to him that she always gives him a smile but he never returns it. Now he happened to watch a romantic movie in those days and he was way too impressed by the proposing lines of a guy to heroine. He liked it so much that it produced an irresistible urge in him to use it in his life. Now he started wondering to whom to propose. He thought of all his female friends but it did not make any sense to him.
Naturally ,then he decided on this girl next door. The lines went on something like this :

(on his knees and holding her hand),
” Dear…. you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my whole life.(He added my own lines to it obviously).As you said that you smiled at me many times, forgive me but I always failed to notice that. Even if I would have noticed it, I wouldn’t have believed it. Such a beautiful girl smiling at me( I know its exaggerated)?... I want to tell you that I love you, from the very bottom of my heart. Give me a chance. I would give you the every happiness in the world. Believe me if you say yes, I would be the happiest person of this planet today. But if its no, just walk away and I would always remember you and will be there for you always..!”
( If everything goes smooth kiss her hand).

The line that hit him the most was that - 'if you say yes I would be the happiest person on the planet.' So one day he just went ahead and told her friends to call her right now that he wanted to talk to her. She came and he told her to meet him next evening in a park and before she protested or said something he turned back and walked away. Alright that was nice show of attitude!

Next day came. During all this he was very confident that he would do it. He was kind of over confident, He though it was a walk over cake for him. All he wanted to do was use that lines and tell himself that he could do it.

Evening came and the so did the time. It had already got dark. He took along a friend and stood at one corner. And she came..., but damn it! She was with three of her friends. But no problems, He told myself. He was booming with confidence. He went right ahead and her friends were giggling. He asked her (rudely which he later realized) that he had told her to come alone and he wanted to talk to her only and told her friends to leave them alone.

Giggles again!

He couldn’t understand why they were acting so weirdly. She asked them not to go, but they left and stood at one corner. And suddenly she put her both hands on her face!

... Hell!!….. That was it.. And that was the turning point for him that evening. Man she was blushing and acting shy! At that moment he realized it. He knew that was dumb of him to have realized it that late. But he understood her friend’s giggling and weird behavior. They all had known that he was going to propose her. But he wasn’t prepared for this. It was just one those impulses of doing something that he was acting on.

And then the dreadful thing happened. Goosebumps stuck him. He had forgotten all those line which were on his mind from so many days.

What do I say?
What do I do now?
Get on you knees and hold her hand- his mind told him.
Are you crazy- He snapped back to his mind.
Alright, alright forget it... Start of with your lines man!
What lines? He asked his mind again.
Yes he was in deep shit. And then he did the most absurd thing of his life.

He offered her his hand and asked her "Would you be my friend?"
That stuck her pretty hard because he could see her face and her expressions, like asking him “What the hell are you doing?”
She took his hand though.

And he could think of no thing else so he turned back.

He looked back at her. “ Is that what you had to say?”.
"Do not ask me that for God’s sake I had to say a whole fucking movie dialogue to you sweety."
He thought to himslef.
He said “Yes ."

"That is all?”. She was not shocked but she was disappointed he could see that.
So once again he started walking. He had moved a few steps that he heard a voice calling his name again. To his horrors they all were there with her- all her friends. So once again he went back.
One of them snapped “Come on man! This wasn’t what you came here for. Go ahead and say what you came to tell her.”

"Bitch! How did she know that? I didn’t even tell it to my best friend and she tells me to say what I had come here to say to her." He thought.
Yes it would have felt like shit but the ego always overcomes such feelings for him. “ What? I was precisely what I had say to her” He said to them.
There were many more “Come one” and “Say it” coming from them. But once again he went back and this time not turning back to any voices he heard. He have had enough of it.

"They must be thinking that I got nervous and couldn’t say what I had wanted to say. But he looked so sure of himself. But what happened to him? Poor guy..!" He was thinking all this to himslf.

He calls it a prank God played with him. And yes he was laughing right then.

"Poor me! She had come there to make me the happiest person on the planet that day!"

Fucked Up Everything!

"Life Sucks!"
"This is hell man!"
"Nothing to do in this rotten life"
"I am sick of it all!"
"Fuck you man..Lets do something!"

These were the things they have been telling each other from last one week. Now they were so sick and bored of saying it all again and again that they had stopped it. They just walked. There was no need to say anything. These lines played constantly in their heads. It played in there all the time. They were getting used to it.

Living with it.

Fucked up Life.
Fucked up Mind.
Fucked up Everything!

and they just walked....

They just walked..somewhere, wherever the fucking way took them. No one uttered a word. They just got the feeling to turn, they would turn, if they felt like walking straight that's what they did.

Life did suck.
Brains were indeed fucked.

And they walked.

They walked into some dark alleys. Silent, gloomy and dark alleys! It did not matter to them.


He felt the sharp vibration as his shoulder brushed the side wall of the alley. And the dead fucked brain woke up from the grave. He touched his body with the wall again.


Fuck!! What was that.
He gestured his partner to feel the wall too..


Fuckin Heavens.. What was that!

Door! There has to be a door. A door which gets them to the other side of the road. They started searching for the door frantically.


They felt it again and again. What the fuck was on with this freakin wall?

Here...I found the door...The fuckin door!

They opened up the door...


The deafening noise. The fuckin earth moving noise. The loud leads of guitar. The bass that would fucking tear you apart.

Two big guys blocked their way.

" What level you punks want?"
" Level?"
" Oh you fucking first timers haan...Gime em level 1 danny"

And something hit their arms. A pinched sharp pain. As they moved and checked out their arms. The needle was already injected into their blood.

" What the fuck was thaaaa....?"

And they were pushed inside....!

They saw a big place. The huge stage. Some rock band. The lead singer screaming into the microphone. Hundreds of people. All in black. All headbanging. All lost in their own world. It was a whole new fuckin world within this world.


The voice tore them apart. And suddenly they were floating in the air. What the fuck was happening. They floated. They were in the air. They wanted to move their body. But mind did not respond. Nothing responded. And they floated!

" All you Mothaaaa fuckaaaaaaaaaaassss........Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

They stopped to fight the flow. They stopped giving any resistance. And they floated. They the fuckin air!!!!!

The crowd put 'em down.

The heart was banging inside. Beating? Fuckin No! It was banging inside. It was fuckin gonna come outta fuckin chest. He held his chest. He wanted to stop the heart to blow apart his chest and come out. No....Stop..!

" Lets Fuckin Rock it Tonight........................"

Fuck! What was happening. Everything was moving. Every fuckin thing out there was. or was it his head? Was he head banging.. He couldn't tell that. Whatever it was it felt good.... fuckin good!

" Life Rockssss!"
" This is Heaven.."
" This is the life..!"
" I am fuckin loving this shit!"
" Fuck you man..We are rocking.."

".........Screammm..............fuckin Screaaaaaaaaam............."


And they floated...
They just floated....
Floated in the air...
Fuckin air that is!

And he closed his eyes

He was returning home after another hectic day at office. He got into his swank convertible and pushed the accelerator. The traffic was getting onto his nerves. The vehicles were crowding the road. There were people everywhere. He felt like a small insect in between the maze of sky scrappers. His head was all fucked up. He wanted to curse, but was too shattered inside to even do that. He had to go clubbing with his friends that night. He switched on his car stereo….

His hair was flowing in the air. The car was open now and the wind was refreshing. Armin Van played on his music player. He was driving smoothly along the sea. He saw the sea, the trees and he smelled the salt. His head was now clear. Air hitting his head, music in his ears, sea smell in nose and hands on the wheel… And he closed his eyes…

His car was flying in the sky. He was driving through clouds. Armin still streamed through his speakers. The wings had just appeared on side of his car. This was awesome. He felt cold. He felt nice. The city under him looked like tiny dots, tiny insects. And he closed his eyes….

He could see green laser lights moving around everywhere. He could see flashing lights. He could hear the same music. He moved up and saw he was in a rave. Good Old Armin was at his console spinning the music. People were moving in the trance, and were in trance. He joined them. This was heaven. Music was dictating his every body move. And he closed his eyes…

He was sitting in a dark room. It seemed wooden. He went outside the door. It was a small wooden cottage with a bulb on top. He saw outside. He saw mountains. Peaks everywhere, shining in the moon light. He himself was on a peak looking at the others. He had always looked at mountains since childhood and seen a light or two in some far away mountain. He always wondered who lived there all alone. Now he realized, he was at one of those places. He felt nice. And he closed his eyes….

He felt something in his mouth. It was a tongue. He found himself lip locked with some woman. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth. Both the tongues felt and licked each other. She started moving her lips on his neck. She gave her licks and bites. He felt good. He felt heavenly. And he closed his eyes….

He could hear some roaring sound. “ And that point, it is very important and you press the button. Go on and have fun.” Then he was pushed. Holy fuckin shit! He was sky diving. He was falling. He felt free. He felt good. He started enjoying this. Then he felt as he was about to touch the ground. He pushed the button. Nothing. Again. Nothing. What the hell, He thought. And he closed his eyes….

He heard laughter. He heard voices. Familiar voices. He heard music. Trance Music. Armin Van. People Dancing. Smoke all around. Lights… People sitting along with him on couches. Yes! He knew them.

“Welcome back dude!”
“How was the trip?”

Trip? He thought…..
What Trip………..?

Oh Trip!


You Know...

Right Now:

He is half lying in his couch with a glass of coke in his hand, munching chips and with the cell phone against his ear.

“You know I met this old friend of mine today. He was with me in high school. I was so surprised.”
“Oh cool”
“And then we had coffee and talked about the good old times. You know he is in merchant navy now”
“That’s awesome Hun…!!

He sleeps off on the couch itself.

“And then I came back home…..You there? Baby …?”

A year later:

In the train

“You know what? I have always dreamed of having a home by the beach.”
“That will be so good.”
“Ya! Big home, nice d├ęcor…!! When we wake up, we hear the waves. When we walk to the window, we feel the breeze...”
(He keeps his head in her lap)
“And we will go for walks together…”
“You know I can almost see all this…”
“And we will have a dog. I love them so much…! But I know …you don’t like them. I know that…. But we can always …...huney…you slept…?”

(Strokes his hair, gazes at him and smiles…)

A couple of years later:


She lays her head on his chest, feeling his chest with her hand.

“You know what; I need a change of job.”
“Why …what happened sweetie?”
“Too much of travelling. I don’t like it when I am away from you for too long”
“Nor do me darling.”
“But rest all is really nice. I mean I like my friends here. My boss is such a nice man. Remember that day we met him at that party?”
“You know I love driving this new car. What a smooth drive. It’s like I wish my office was a little far...”
“This weekend we will go for a long drive. How about going to some hill station. We need a break. Don’t you think so?…hello…slept again? You always have to do this!”


Kisses his forehead…
Cuddles against his chest and closes her eyes!