The Real Decision!

There are so many times in our lives that we have to make decisions.
They range from some big ones regarding your life to small everyday
decisions.Most of these decisions we make are based on a lot of

They may be dependent on the situation you are facing - A circumstantial decision that is.
Then come the ones you make under influences of friends and family. Its a
result of their suggestions,feed backs and advices,and hence your
decision is taken.
There is one which is taken because it looks like the best one, best according to the society,more of a 'Right thing to do'!
And then comes the the real decision - Your own decision!
This is a decision which comes right from the heart. A call of the mind, may
be an intuition. Something you know is right and will get you or
make you the real you,you want
to be!

Frankly speaking,we all feel uncomfortable accepting this kind of
classification of decisions. We
always tend to tell ourselves that it was our own real decision. And we
all are very well know they all aren't.

The last kind of the decisions are the most difficult to make. There are so
many problems and obstacles you can foresee if you ever take it. It may
be the social acceptability,Peer pressure, fear of failure and even
fear of the hard work!

But you see,one day you will ultimately
have to make that one real decision
. We keep on making the
'fake' decisions and in that way keep coming to end point where once
again we need to make that our own decision. We ignore it, We just keep

This is the phase which I am passing through presently.
I want to make that real decision now.....and live my live with utmost
It feels so good when you take those decisions,how
silly and troublesome they may seem before. But the result is always
that satisfaction , that feeling of completeness. Its not that ,it will bring you instant success or anything like that always.

But that feeling, I tell you is worth it!

So have felt that feeling lately?
Have you made a Real, your Own decision ?


ravali said...

so what is this real decision that you are making or about to make? i read your post but somehow i am not able to still differntiate what si a real decisiona dn what is not. can you give an example, real or fake one?

what is that right? what makes anything real or even fake? is it intuition? well, how real is our intuition?

i always thought, contradiction is true and complete justification. and such a queer thing called life, what is that one turn that makes is always still. never moves and awaits for us to make the turn. and how real are you when you have made the decision and passed on? is it a constant process, this 'real decision making' or is it a deed that can be certified in our accounts of karma?

sorry lots of questions because frankly i just wish you would give some example to explain this concept further.

StandbyMind said...

Sure Ravali...I would rather be happy to explain it all.

Let me start from say a career decision. I wished to choose a profesion which in eyes of ppl is unconventional - A Dj. I wanted to totally focus on it after ma schooling. But I was explained and influened..that how important education, a formal degree is life. ThaT I should first concentrate on it.So i was convinced and made one unreal decision - which was socially and at that moment logically justified. 3 years in engg collg and I m totally fucked up...My heart still beats for being a Dj...ful time...not a bloody engineer...
Coming to smaller things..dint u ever want to do a thing but dint do because it wasnt approved by parents,peers..society...
Well it is Us- me/you who take decisions in our life. Putting that on karma is well not very justified.

You listen to ur heart...or intution and do a thing...I mean what you feel is right..You are a complete self..Your every action,every decision should be on basis of urslef..U should be answerable to urself not anyone else..Which is theh Real decision..
And that is what brings the sense of satisfaction,for doing and deciding what u really felt!

Sometimes You just calculate...from others point of views and make decisions..Like all us do most of the time...which ends us putting us in a rat race..where " You had to decide and do something "

Ruchika said...

Yeah, decisions of your own, whether right or wrong, should be taken, atleast a few times in life!! You live, you learn!

StandbyMind said...

Exactly...thats the real life!
Learning from our own decisions...learning and leading life the best way!!

Macabreday said...

nice...but i wonder, even if we take a decision on our own, how many external factors influence it? i think that every choice we make has some deep influence rooted way back somewhere, mostl we may not see it..
and hey...i always wanted to be a musician.....and not a freakin therapist :-) and yup.. at a young age i was brainwashed and convinced that i wouldnt make it big....and right matter what i think, im programmed to believe that i can never have a career frm music.

ravali said...

well now i get what you were talking about. i think i was looking into the word real much deeper than it was meant to be looked at here. but yes i agree with you completely. but one thing, don't ever have regrets. i mean the way i look at it is that we got this one life for free, no charges, no taxes, no hidden fees, just freree of cost. its a gift we can take it or dump it in the recycling bin. wouldn't make one bit of difference to anyone. so its not about how many rights we did or how many real decisions we made or how efficient are in are race to find satisfaction but merely that we lived and that puts us way ahead of what we started out with. we make a lot of decisions in our life, its true but we don't ever know all the consequences and true reasons for making the decisions, because if we did, well we would all be enlightened then wouldn't we? so we make our decisions based on what limited knowledge we have or we think we have. so what is done, well always be proud of it. never have regrets. and as for the word karma, i menat it here as our own actions, not as an inevitable end that is thrust upon us. i wasn't talking about fate or anything like that, i meant it in the sense of our true actions, that we perform ourselves, regardless of our intentions.

soulitary reaper said...

yes! yes I have! I mean not always, but a couple of times...n I love myself for that, n I love the universe for givin me the right vibes:) so I m totally with u here... read ur blog for the first time btw, n am glad i did!

Minakshi Singh said...

Exactly... Very true. Your decisions in life must be yours and your own. However, it is not so easy and all of us at some point of time are influenced by other factors. And there are also a few of us who are so indecisive that life is passed in contemplation of the "right" decision.
Have you read TS Eliot's Hollow men? There he talks about hollow men who are people who have for some reason not taken a decision in life. Neither for good nor for bad... they are just suspended in Limbo, as he calls it.
Nice post... :-)

Jimmy said...

YOu are right ... don't know why I always keep running away from decisions.
Gotta stop being the king of procrastination, sometime :)

StandbyMind said...

Dood..wait when I cut my album as a DJ...I will put one of our song or it..ofcourse it will be remixed:)

Nice to see you ga i was trying to say.You were indeed looking tooo deep. I dont look that Deep...If I try My Mind woudlnt be at Standby mode U c....

You do take me out of Mode by ur comments and questions...:)

Name and author noted. As you have pointed out..It sounds really worth a read..Thanx I am gonna read it..!

Ya take ur time King;)

moonlight said...

"Bloom where you are planted : What if I am planted in wrong garden!"
and i hv seen you morph ovr the year. can understand your frustration, but at this juncture wld advice you to complete ur degree having come this far. After that follow your heart and give it a go. If it does not work, ask yourself why?...maybe the next decision wld be made with your head ;) and ofcourse all other heads (the herd mentality)!

Prince Kazarelth said...

Decisions, delusions...

Ah. We are all delusional. We constantly vibrate about. "What will they think? What if...?"

Very true post!

Keep writing!

Aditi said...

nice post, its really sometimes hard to take decision on several matters, and you don't know what to do.. what i've learnt from my pitfalls that whatever your mother says, follow it. i've followed it and then never found myself in trouble..

Lucifer said...

I feel honoured that you think that I have a style! That probably has been the biggest compliment I have ever received.

And probably no, the last real decision I made was, must be, when I chose chocolate ice-cream over vanilla about three years back. But that must also have been influenced by the wind, I never could ascertain.

Jeya Anand said...

The decisions i have taken sometimes lead me to thing i keep in mind is that those who have passed the desert know the way better than those who try to ...
may be when u make ur decision , it might give u a sense of completeness...but i guess if its worthy or not...i believe my parents...
Different ppl .Different views....

Inkblot said...

congratulations-and never live to regret it- so smile big :)

and thanks for visiting...

Hershey said...

apparently I was going to start off by saying that you better be ready to read a big comment..seems like you have some experience in that area already...
anyways...mine would surely be the biggest..
get gonna analyze every para.

Ah yes, decisions. They are a real pain. Range in wide categories..from choosing which type of pizza to which country to invade and nuke.
I am very much surprised why people involve their friends and families...even I do it..many a times I go, " MY MIND IS MADE UP!... so dad..what do you think?"

well, they do help most of the time..but there are cases where by involving them, the decision making gets more complicated and time consuming...

Oh I hate that one...I am against that...'The RIGHT thing to do'
tell me..suppose you get extra marks..accidentally..some calculation error..the right thing to do would be to inform the prof...and still..I haven't seen an idiot who would do such a thing yet.

YEA! now thats what I am talking about..your own decision. Your life, you decide..that way if something goes can't blame anyone(well..religious guys can blame god..for atheists/agnostics like me..we have to deal with the fact of blaming ourselves) true..the only way its truly your decision if you make it yourself and at that precise moment..without talking to anyone else about it..
like the time when you decide," ok... I am not going to study this subject.. exam be damned" ( I never said all decisions are supposed to be wise ones)

interesting you should mention those..coz apart from peer pressure, I am having all those troubles...
but ultimately i WILL make that choice...and that day will be the day after I get my bachelors degree.

its a darn shame to keep running...wonder why people do that.

You are going through this right now..hmm..I am scheduled to go through it after a year..I keep getting previews till then.
Anyways..thats the problem itself isn't it....
you should GET that feeling of satisfaction..shouldn't regret it later even if it was a wrong choice...
I dunno what your problems are but...whatever it may be..think logically over it...consider all factors..even the most improbably ones... "SEE" into the different futures..and think if you are ready to accept any of them..if its yes..then go ahead and do whatever you wanna do.

I have that feeling keeps haunting me...hopefully when the time comes..I will make the right choice...

I wish I can continue..but I am running late for college..aha..another big decision...should I go today? or should I sit and do something else..its too late anyways..lets see..

StandbyMind said...

Well it sounds familiar since u mentioin it..You gat some observation skills...I am bowled over! :)

Thanx man :)

I know Mom's rule...but still our minds differ so ver much :)

Ya bet it must have been ;)

Different indeed..I respect that!

I keep doing that..or try to when I cat man

Well First of all..Loved ur comment and the way you have analysed evry thing...Nice
Shit...Its 2 pm...I guess I should go to college...I know i ll get detained this time..
I am gonna get back to you..:)

StandbyMind said...

Yes ..right there You exactly say the thing I wanted to say and point out. Making the decision at that moment of ur alone...
I agree with you..without including anything like that decision being in accordance with so called wisdom,morals,ethics,or religion...
I mean ultimately it has to be you who is responsible for the decision you made..So why to bring in those in between..
If it went well,Enjoy went wrong..ofcourse you oughta accept it...But at last - it was urs decision..the real one..and thats whats imporatant...

Btw I hope u get the right and real one on ur degree completion...
and on other note..( Did u go to college then? I did..Lecturer chucked me out) lol

Bad decision...:(

Hershey said...

aww...lecturer chucked you out...
thats bad..

don't you have a way of sneaking INTO the class...
am sure you do..just use the route you use to sneak the opposite of sneaking out.

my prof didn't catch me..I came through the corner window and immediately sat in the seat ..merged with the group quickly before he can detect the change in number of students..hehehe...
not my first time you know..

Hershey said...

I just wish they would clean that damn window sill spoiled my jeans..nice greasy color..ick.
ah well..small price to pay for sake of attendance.

Hershey said...

airtel GPRS? you are trying to check em on cell? obviously it won't work then...
but well, if you are really curious..I will give the links in the exact order..maybe that will open..


and yea...I had one of those types in my 12th grade..a bit different than yours though..every morning..for no apparent reason it would be .. "HarrSHAAAAAALLLLL Get out of my class"

On peaceful days it would be " harshal, get up, get out."

Aditi said...

hi aman,
thankx 4 ur valuable comments, ur comments have really helped me to develop a better perspective,

Aparna Kar said...

Have you made a Real, your Own decision ?
I guess I have. And I am glad I did- against all odds. There were too many to say why it would not work out but few,too few, very few to say why it would. But I kept my faith and did what I could best. And when I look back - I see the echoes have silenced and I am at peace with myself.

Whether it is a career decision or the choice of a mate or even something as mundane as what flavor ice cream you would like to have today- have it your way.
Life is way to short to be dictated by someone else.
Have conviction in what you but have the strength to stand up if things don't work out so well either.
Decide soon and let us know :)

diyadear said...

very very true my friend..
I have underwent such situations many a times.. i just keep playing ostrich ignoring the prob thnking let it come then i'll c.. n when it comes i am not even prepared to face it.. from then on i believe, if there r any hard situations in life which need ur decision, then its best u take it at the earliest.. putting it off is never gonna work out.. think well, take ur time.. but never ignore..

Adil said...

thnx for the compliment, u have got a nice blog too....

aas said...

It takes a lot of real courage to make a real decision. Ask me.

Yes, my - our I should say - loss was great. But for my daadu, I think death came to him as a release. The hope is all that remains - the hope that he is at peace now.

Protegeoflife said...

Yes, its biggest dilemma gemerally fool like me ends up in hasty decisions then repenting over it xtremely well written hatss off thanx for ur comments i see a very very talented writer in u get urself published what r u waitin 4???

anki said...

Firstly.. thanks for your comment on coopedup! :)
par ab mere blog ka link thoda change hua hai.. so pls do make a visit to there as well (

And regarding decisions.. whenever i have listened to my heart.. it just seems like the whole universe conspires for me to move towards it and slowly all the obstacles just wither away..
yes it feels completely right!

lovely post!

kaavya said...

Hmmmm now decision rather real decision is something you do which will make others happy than you...errrr I hope am be more specific adding someone's blog in your page...whom you dont even know...but you feel its sensible which will bring atlst a smile....

mindy said...

wonderful post. i think that all decisions are big. think about it, small decision to turn right or go left.. you might miss a car accident.. decide to take a shower and are 15 minutes late for work and get fired. small decisions can make life altering paths.

shikha said...

If u were in front of me right now , i would hav given u a big hug..!seriously!!!
this is wat exactly i have been tryin to explain my parents..u know..all my lif ei hav taken decisions based on my intuition..they all were totally different from wat my parents wanted or wat was felt by evone to be right...but i hav always trusted my intuition and never failed..(touchwood)
and recently i m takin a decision thats gonna change my family s furious abt it..but guess i ll try it dis time as well..i might fail and its gonna put me into real trouble..but i dnt wanna die thinkin i never tried...
ah!!m soooooo happy to read dis post of urs...*a big hug*

Ashar said...

So true man...the 'real' decisions almost never come. Truly, everyone goes through this internal conflict, wheerin on one hand, you KNOW what you want to do, but on the other hand you're shown the door by what you SHOULD do! That's life..

But just like you, one day, I too aspire to be the 'real' decision maker..because the kind of satisfaction and happiness you get by doing what you really want to do, is undescribable and perhaps worth all that 'objection/rejection/basically shit' that you gotta face!

"This is that, that is this...and this is all there is"

The Acid Tongue said...

i am so glad i took my own decision of reading ur blog and ignored the peer pressure of reading his first lolz

*moves on to ur other blogs*