I don't belong here

A bright blinding light hits your eyes, and whoosh you find yourself in an alien
place. You know if you relax down for just a few seconds, you will find out the
answer to the questions in the mind. But alas! the mind, the mind which has seen
those endless bollywood movie; how can it possibly miss such a chance to ask
the ultimate question:

" Main kaun hoon?"
" Main kahan hoon?"
( All those who aren't familiar with these Godly questions of bollywood movies
here is the interpretation - Who am I? Where am I?)

This is just another race, no let me try a better word - species, of people. They are constantly doing this thing which blows out your senses. The eyes are totally engraved into these thick bundles of sheets made out of the wooden pulp. All these sheets have something tiny scribbled on them. There are some fancy structures made out of lines.

The voices all sound familiar but the things they are talking are again some alien language. The only explanation possible is that they are talking about those scribbled things in those thick bundle of sheets.


So what is someone like me doing in this world of alien thoughts,activities and
talks.[** Creep by Radiohead ~ I dont belong here~]

Probably it is the cosmic conspiracy. I am sure someone is doing this experiment and is very keen on seeing the observations and the results.

One guy would come and start speaking in that unknown language. All others would nod their heads. This must be to tell the speaker to go on. And so would he. The times creeps....creeps.....I think the poor snail would travel few miles in this time. Surprisingly, someone from the listeners would suddenly speak something and the speaker would stop. And once again he would speak...

The time comes and the speaker is finally tired of speaking. No! I think the program completes itself and it has timed out. The group of listener starts moving towards the bunkers. Once again I can see those bundle of sheets lying everywhere.

My head hurts. The nerves scream out loud. It seems it would explode. And my brain would be nothing but a chunk of innumerable small pieces.

I wake up again. Blurry vision...One of the listener is again looking into that thick bundle. I move around the other bunkers. Some more of those listeners are here. All into bundles....bundles ...sheeets....sheets!

"...But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here.........."

The Experience!

A man is closest to the God when he is creating something. When a painter is painting something close to his heart , a sculptors craving something out of his mind, a musician who has just found the right stroke of the tune, a poet who has found the right word. The moment when a new creation is taking birth. The bond is the strongest.As if the almighty as himself stepped in him. Yeah that close. Closer than close.

One starts moving his feet on a music. The move becomes a movement , the movement shapes into dance, the dance into state of trance, and the state into enlightenment.

One starts reading, reading becomes resonance, resonance becomes visual, the visual becomes a feel, the feel becomes reality, the reality becomes the truth.


There are experiences in life which may become eternal. They might not be as strong as enlightenment. But they are certainly a feel of the force. The power around the universe. The great feeling which cannot be described in words. You may try but it would be like doing injustice to that feeling, to that experience.

Hence, you feel it, you keep it in, you experience it!

You might be lying down under the open sky on a rock. The breeze makes the buzz. It touches our body. The smell fills you pores. You look at the stars. You look and look. The mind starts to ponder. What are these. Yes they are stars, that is moon. But what are they. They are beautiful. They lite up the sky...!
And slowly they drift away....
The mind goes nil, void. You just feel. Everything is just one. The air, the sky, the
soil, the fire. All senses are one.
This is an experience!

You put on your favorite song on loop. You feel good. The music is so soothing. You start humming the words along with it. You sing along. May be you move to it too.
It goes on and on....
You calm down. The sit or lie down at one place. The eyes shut down automatically. The scenes start flowing. The memory goes back. Something, Someone related to that song. You start thinking of that. Start remembering things. You smile. Or a tear falls down from you eye...
And after a while..all is gone. You are still. Mind is empty. All is void. All is nothing. Song plays and you in a different state.

The feeling.
The memory.
The emotions.
The smoothness.
The emptiness.
Void space...

The Experience!

Godly?

Well.....

Almost!

Him and Her

Phase One
His eyes are randomly surveying the crowd hanging around. Usual boring stuff,nothing special. As he is about to take his gaze back and shake his head disapprovingly, he checks himself.
Did he catch something....He turns around his gaze again. There is she - This girl. She is really beautiful ,and there is something about her that makes his eyes stick on her face. He starts looking at her everyday for next coming days. But she shows an utter disinterest. She would look away and leave the place he is around. He tries it for few more days but in vain. So he gets upset and irritated,and at the end stops taking interest in her!

Phase Two
He is sitting at his usual place. He feels a familiar feel of eyes staring deep into his eyes from a distance. He comes out of his numb state of mind to look whats bothering him. Thats the same girl looking at him. He ignores her completely.
Next day, same thing happens. There is no smile, there is no feel or invitation in her eyes - Just a blank look, the same he used to give her. Sometimes the yes would lock up, but then again he would remember the old days and ignores her constantly.


Phase Three
He is once again hanging out with his friends. She too happens to pass him by from distance at times.
He would look at her thinking what to do.
She would look at him thinkin what kind of guy he is.
And then both of thm look away and go on with their lives!

Any idea, Any guesses about the Fourth Phase.....?

How you wanna die?

Headbangin to : Du...Du Hast...Du Hast Mich ( You...You Hate...You Hate Me) by Rammstein.

Sipping: Redbull (yeah it gives me wings;) )

I have this thought so many times. What If I suddenly decide to die. How am I gonna do it.
Well I have already decided on it sometime ago.I made this decision when I was riding the bike on mountains. Those lovely curves, a nice road and beautiful scenary.
Sometimes the clouds would appear in the way. On your one side is the mountain and on the other the valley. A deep valley...All you can see is greenary. Or if you look a bit away, A flowing river or some little farm and few huts. The scenes is certainly mesmerising. The cool breeze which touches your face. I mean it is enigmatic.


And you are controlling this bike of yours. Speeding through the curves. I love the blind curves, I sometimes increase my accelaration while handling a bling curve to feel the thrill.
And how I wish I wish I wouldnt turn my handle...and just let the bike go staright and fly away....Fly on my bike ... I mean I have imagined that moment so many times..The moment the front tyre would go off the road...and then the whole bike...Into the air.....I am going to love it.

I wish I would do it someday. Last time I felt like doing it, the friend sitting behind went crazy when I told him what I was thinking...
It would be awesome..My connection with the Air...The Sky ...The Valley...and yeah I know the Death..But it would be God damned worth it .....whole of it..!

Sipping....Red bulls last sip....You.. You Hate.. You Hate Me.......

P.S: Whenever I read this sign board on road - "Speed thrills but Kills" I just feel like adding a line to it..

SPEED THRILLS BUT KILLS
BUT THATS PRECISELY WHY YOU LOVE SPEED